Deolali Musings: Golfing Habits -I
Dear Readers,
I hadn’t written for Deolali Musings for a while, and with the Ryder cup having just finished, I thought golf was the flavour of this month. Here is thus a light piece on golf. I hope you all will enjoy it.
Deolali Musings: Golfing Habits I
Golf evokes extreme responses in people. Mainly the Services community. By Services community, I mean people from the three Services, either serving or veterans. Most are favourably disposed, yet a section finds the game boring, bourgeois, self-serving and many more such adjectives. But they haven’t deterred the die-hard golfers. These are a breed of their own. There is so much written about golfers and their habits thanks to the game’s popularity in the west, and there are cartoons galore. Two cartoons come to my mind: first, a man getting married in the church in a tuxedo with his set hanging from his shoulder, and he is looking at his wristwatch, indicating he can’t wait to get to the golf course. And the second, of course, is a damning slur on any decent golfer: the golfer, while playing his afternoon game, raises his hat in respect of the passing cortege and makes a comment: “God rest her soul, she was nice to me for 50 years.”
Having played golf for almost 30 years now, I find it interesting to study golfing habits and found they are typical and even transcend boundaries. Before I talk about individual habits, let me first talk about group habits. There are three distinct groups that you see on the relatively busy Service golf courses. The first variety is the one in which Tee s off at and around 6 am. The earlier, the better. Most of them dream of hitting the balls in the morning darkness and hope as they walk on the first fairway, the sun will break first light, and miraculously they will find their ball on the fairway. What are the odds for it is for anyone to guess. But the thrill of being the first or early to Tee off is something that acts like an aphrodisiac that hits them always six hours later. Most of these golfers are in the better half of their life cycle, and sleep is always a rare commodity. Thus, it helps to find an occupation to replace it. Looking at the number of cars that adorn a golf course parking in the morning, I often wonder if any other place in the city has so many high-profile visitors? Coming back to these brave hearts. The good part is, the weather has a tiny role to play in their morning routine. Unless the weather forces the courses to close due to heavy incessant overnight rains, these die-hards would always make their presence felt. Another interesting feature of these four balls is they are usually the nine holes types. Playing 12 holes would be a significant achievement. They love the feel of the golf hut at 9 am—more about them a little later.
The second group is the 8 am type. These golfers are usually younger and commonly have some difficulty in getting up early, meaning 4 am. They are also the serious variety and gather in the golf course to get the better of their favourite opponents. They are better equipped and better dressed, for they are always on a long haul. Usually, they play at least 14 holes and time their entry into the golf hut at an appropriate hour.
And the third group is the one which usually starts in the afternoon anytime around 2 pm. This group has two types of golfers. Most serving golfers would find membership in this group, as service conditions would not allow them this pleasure on working days. So, they usually Tee off around 2.30 pm. In the second group are the veterans who find staying at home during the day painful for one reason or the other. An absence from home in the day makes the heart go fonder, is their shared belief. On a serious note, these are the most serious golfers of all. They want to excel in tournaments, or more add to their golfing kitty or make up for their previous day’s loss. Usually, they are masters at counting golfing scores. The Press – Repress system is a world by itself, and one needs to understand arithmetic and, more than that, have an excellent memory to count the score at the end of 18 holes finally. It could read like 11,9,11,8,6,4,2,0 & 2,4,2,0 at the end of the 12th hole, should one pair win all the 12 holes. I know that that would be an improbability, but this is the most straightforward calculation as the scores keep advancing in one direction. This is if the scores open up with three matches, i.e. the first win gives the winner a score of 0,2,0. If this is not confusing, what else could be. Add to this the ups and downs of your opponent winning a hole in between and some going into a draw, the counting of this scoreline can beat the hell of any regular guy. But it is essential to learn to count or be ready to lose a few hundred to a smart scorer. This group also ends up in the golf hut, but most of the time fighting about the final score, and then the scorecard comes into play to write down and figure what the actual final score was.
The golf hut has many names depending upon the place: the watering hole, the 19th hole, the golfer’s pavilion, etc. All mean the same thing. The 9 am types love to have their daily breakfast, which could be the envy of many wives and gents too, starting with Bread -Omelette, it could have on menu idli-vada, dosa at times but a most favourite amongst golfers I find is the Alu- puri. The crispness of the puri and the heavenly feeling of fried bread in the morning with a wet and thick yellow-red Alu sabzi can catch the taste buds of even the most insensitive. Then the gap- shap over breakfast and the talk of life has as much lure as the golf. And if someone hits a birdie, then the rest of the fourball better listen, for it is the birdie man’s day. Par are revelled, but a birdie is like a hole in one.
For the 8 am group, their entry time is usually after 11.30 am. A nice game read: better than worse marks their beginning of the afternoon, and it’s already too hot outside, and a glass of beer acts as refreshing as lemonade. The taste of beer starts from the second glass onwards. Usually, this group has the thickest of friends, where friendship transcends beyond the golf course. Some stay for lunch, and some go, but the mission is accomplished: a nice glass of beer with friends and a morning well spent.
The third group is the most professional of all, and their entry into the golf hut is usually to count the score, settle the money and have a nice cup of coffee. Rarely does any one of them indulge in a glass of alcohol. Blame it on bad timing. Also, they realise that they have to reach home before it is too late, and they miss a few chores to be done at home. For serving officers, a dinner night or a dining out is a nightmare, but sometimes a raising day can bring cheer too. For the veterans, a party at home usually is a ‘No’ and during pandemic definitely ‘No’. They break up with a promise for meeting the next day.
(To be continued)
Note:
· Next: Individual habits: Watch out for Part II of this write-up.
· I have taken few liberties of generalising these habits. They are typical of the Armed Forces Service Golfers community and mainly the veterans, for whom golf is not a pastime but part of their daily life. Due to commitments of work, the civilian counterparts may not have the exact composition of groups, but they too could be loosely fitted into some of these stereotypes
· Deolali Musings is the brand name of these lighter blogs.